Thursday, January 8, 2009

A cheeky take on the 'Who was Who' of Bollywood 2008



himesh



Joker of the Year: Himesh Reshammiya


The hit music director is hell bent on becoming the next Amitabh Bachchan of India. In Satish Kaushik’s ’Karzzzz’, he tried to give rebirth to Rishi Kapoor’s Monty (Subhash Ghai’s original of 1978) and ended up ’with blood in his hands’. The Dennis-The-Menace hair weave did not stand in between Himesh and the promise of ultimate hilarity!

As is his habit, Himesh mistook facial contortions for Method Acting, and nasal acrobatics for singing! The result: The junta went into laugh riots every time he crooned "Nazron mein teri kashish ka aalam...Dil mein hai armanon ki sargam!!"


However, his musical outing in Kollywood, ’Dasavatharam’, was a super hit.

Statutory Warning: Reshammiya is planning a sequel to ’Aap Kaa Surroor’!

Hero of the Year: Aamir Khan



The Thinking Khan Launched his nephew in his home production, ’Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na’. He broke B.O records with ’Ghajini’, which reportedly collected Rs. 110 crores in the first week of its release. He answered SRK’s six-pack abs with an eight-pack.

His directorial debut ’Taare Zameen Par’ was chosen to be India’s official entry to the Oscars. He revealed that he called his dog "SRK" and got a few brickbats coming his way. The only tragedy that Aamir Khanfaced in 2008 was "the attack of ants".

He wrote on his October 16 blog: “Few days ago I had a very bad night. After a long day at work, went to bed at around 3am. Couple hours later, deep in sleep I had this vague feeling of being bitten on my ear. Gradually I was being bitten on my stomach, legs, neck. I was so sleepy that I just kept cursing, scratching, turning and tossing. Finally it got really unbearable, and I kind of woke up…… TO SEE MY BED FILLED WITH ANTS! There were hundreds of them! Crawling all over and giving me hell."

Heroine of the Year: Katrina Kaif


If you ask Snow White who she would like to be in her next birth, she would most probably say, "Katrina Kaif"!!!Kats had two huge blockbusters (’Race’ and ’Singh is Kinng’); she became the most searched Bollywood celebrity on the web. She was crowned the sexiest Asian woman of 2008 by a U.K based magazine. She replaced Aishwarya Rai as the brand ambassador of Nakshatra Diamonds.

So what if you have a cheek-slapping demon as a Boy friend?

Take heart!

No fairy-tale is complete without a villain!!

Singer of the Year: Sukhwinder Singh


A protégé of A R Rahman, his ticket to Bollywood was "Chaiyyan chaiyyan" from ’Dil Se’. For most of 2008, Sukhi was after ’Star Voice of India’. He signed the year off with a beautifully rendered ’Hole Hole’ from RNBDJ. His song "Jai ho" from Danny Boyle’s ’Slumdog Millionaire’ has been nominated for the Golden Globe awards.



Sex Icon (Male): John Abraham


John spent the whole year sleeping like Rip van Winkle. He then decided to take a dip in the Miami seas. What emerged was a Mega Hunk, who made girls (and certain guys) scream "WAAAAVVV". Having impressed the target clientele with that one shot, John is believed to have gone back to the RVW mode!



Sex Icon (Female): Bipasha Basu


When John teases the mercury tubes, can Bipasha be far behind? Dressing up in shorts and miniskirts teamed with tube tops and halters, she scorched the screen in the Ranbir Kapoor starrer, ’Bachna Ae Haseeno’.

Film of the year: ’A Wednesday’


’A Wednesday’ was about a man (Naseeruddin Shah) who takes up the challenge of protecting a city under siege. It’s about a common man who gives it back to the terrorists. It is about how people react when their surroundings are threatened by extremist forces. Directed by Neeraj Pandey, ’A Wednesday’ almost foretold the 26/11 attack on Mumbai

Music director of the year: A. R Rahman


Ever since ’Roja’ happened in 1992, every year has been an AR Rahman year. 2008 was no different.ARR opened his account in 2008 with ’Jodhaa Akbar’. He followed it up with ’Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na’, ’Ada’, ’Yuvvraaj’ and ’Ghajini’.

Flop Master of the year: Salman Khan


"Flops beget slaps" is the new Salman Khan commandment. Four flops in 2008 - ’Yuvvraaj’, ’Heroes’,’Hello’ and ’God Tussi Great Ho’, and Sallu went wild. He ran into SRK like a bull at Kat’s party, and was deftly diverted by Matador Aamir Khan! But Katrina wasn’t that lucky. Her cheek, they say, went red!On the brighter side, Sallu hosted ’Dus Ka Dum’ and gave the world a new language- an amalgam of Mexican downtown English and Andheri West Hindi! The TRPs soared and then,

Comeback of the year: Rajesh Khanna!!!


Yesteryear superstar Rajesh Khanna came back to the screen with a vengeance, in a bedroom adventure. And Pakistani lass Sanaa Khan paid the price!!!’sored’!

’Idle’ mode of the Year: Amitabh Bachchan


Bollywood ka Shahenshah Amitabh Bachchan toured the world with a band and bandana. He gave two hits and two flops. He spent most of the year donning monkey caps, and training his gun on the media. As soon the Mumbai attack occurred, he took it out again and put it under his pillow!



Blogger of the year: RGV


Ram Gopal Varma was busy blogging most of the year. Here’s one film-maker who is totally resistantto his detractors. He Phoonk-ed them with a surprise hit, and went on to announce his future projects, with typically queer themes!

Bolly Trinity of the Year: The Khan trio!


For most of the year, Aamir and Sallu waged shadow wars with SRK. SRK, on his part, indulged in his favourite pastime: giving statements such as "I’m the best", "My only competition is Me", and "I’m the biggest brand ever". But when Mumbai fell wounded, the Khans came together and condemned the 26/11 savagery in the bravest of words!

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